　ゆき　⇒　あしてる　です

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Disappointments ,
Hatred , Sorrows,
My Feelings About The Past.
Why Arent I Dead Yet?

Why am i still here?
Why arent i dead?
Does God want me to know something?
Does HE wants me to suffer?
Why me? I know that others are suffering.
But my life is just meaningless for anyone to continue on.
People are avoiding me.
I'm just a nuisance to others.
Through their eyes, i'm just nothing.
I'm just a being with no future in hand.
Daydreaming things that wont come true.
Why am i still here?
Just take away my life
I will be happy.
There's nothing much for me to do in this world.
Mother nature is crying out for help.
We dont hear her cries.
The world is crumbling.
I cant be there for her that long.
seeing her is too painful for me.
i rather die than seeing her suffer for that long.
we have say our piece about it.
but are the big people doing anything?
why am i crying?
why am i hurting inside?
in the future, the snows will be the ashes.
ashes of our loved ones who died.
ashes of our future.
crumbles.
why arent we doing anything to change?
it does hurt.
it hurts badly.
it does leave a scar.
we cant forget the past.

the sun is hiding,
it wont come out until we do something,
we cant wait.
i want that sun back.
relight the darkness within my heart.

Yuki

LoNeLyDeViLz @ 10:53 PM.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

It is coming to an end? Are we really going to separate?
I know that i'm being an Ass but deep inside,
I'm just hurt. I'm waiting for you. Waiting for your heart to open again.
But, it seems to me that the opportunity wont be in my hands.
Loving you back is impossible for me to achieve.
You're getting more beautiful now and i'm just heartache
to see you with the new looks. I'm just scared that you'll be with someone else.
I want you back in my life. I dont want us to be friends.
I want more than that. I want to love you back like last time.
Dont you remember? We spent almost 24 hours together and we got through
our high and lows. Pictures of you is all i have to make me happy.
Did i ever get an email from you just to let me know that you're okay?
GOD Damnit, I search for you all over the site and trying to get infos on you.
Friendster and your old email is all i have to get in touch with you.
But, you didnt came back. Waited for you.
It seems long but it's worth it.
I'm just a fool to wait for you. But my heart says it's fine.
What the hell is wrong with me?
Why cant i get you out of my head?
My heart aches everytime. I just dont know why.
The long wait pays off and you came back.
I cant believe my eyes that you're back.
I'm happy.. It's more than happiness.
It's priceless to see you back.
When you told me everything, i got worried even more.
It's great to hear that you're doing pretty good in your studies
And pursuing your dreams.
I'm just sitting there and trying to be happy for you.
Right now, i think that i cant have you back in my life.
Well, we are friends but it'll not be the same.
Every painful memories will keep on haunting me.
I'm just an ordinary guy. I have an ordinary life.
Well, to be honest, i dont stand a chance to get you back as my love.
Nothing i do can make you happy.
I'm just a nuisance in life.
I rather kill myself and be with my father.
But why arent i doing it?
WHY?! I just want to be a person who is unknown to all.
I dont make a difference in people's lives.
I dont do extraordinary things.
I JUST HATE MY FREAKING LIFE.
I will be happy for you if the right guy comes to you.
I'll be happy for you.

Sun shining on brightly,
but the clouds came.
Everyone is disappointed.
It wont come back.
Trust me.
Rain will be ur fear and pain in your life.

Goodbye Then
Yuki

LoNeLyDeViLz @ 4:13 AM.

Monday, May 4, 2009

Will I regain back all the memories
That I lost? Will I be forever ALONE?
I dont want that.. No one wants it..
NEVER~!!!

Combine science MCQ paper today. Reached school early today. Too EARLY to be exact. Tried to revise without anyone disturbing me. The swine flu crisis is getting worse each day and everyone is taking pre-cautions for it. Every morning, same routine. Take our temperature and report back to the teacher in charge. One of my classmates got sent back home and he didnt get to take the exams today. Wish him well and recover quick. Jonathan came and revised with me. Trying to absorb as much information into head and I tried to stay awake. Slept too late yesterday night. Met Venka on my way back home and he look good. Still having those muscles. haha~ tryingto impress me although I'm not GAY. Tomorrow is Maths exams and i have to score better marks so that my maths teacher wont nag at me anymore. She's a great teacher and teaches us well. Hope that i could make her proud. Well, that's all.

Alone? Nah~

Soul

LoNeLyDeViLz @ 10:22 PM.

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Melting... Melting...
The sun is too hot,
I cant bear the pain and i'm dying,
It is too much just to ask you to kill me?

Today's paper isnt that bad except for one question that i didnt do due to the insufficient timing. The others have enough content for the markers to read and maybe give me marks which could satisfy me. Nothing much has change, grandma is out of the hospital and my family is still having problems. well, not exactly my family, i think that it's just me having tough times. Ah, the old days are coming or maybe new things will arouse as time goes by. My friends getting hang of the polytechnic life and I'm still stuck in my secondary life. That sucks bad. Trying to change for the better and now, i'm thinking positive about the education life. It really does benefits me. Oh oh, guess what? I'm getting a second chance to get a passing grade for my CCA. I have to do them so that they could cut off my poly points. Getting into poly is not easy these days. *sigh*

Melting... bleh... -.-'''

soul

LoNeLyDeViLz @ 11:04 PM.